ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
