My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
How drunk are you?
Completed.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
