You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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