i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
