puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
