Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Randomize
