Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
My feet surprised me
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
