I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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