You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
