no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
