Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.