I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
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i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
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Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest