so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!