i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Randomize
