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That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
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