Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
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