And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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