you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
