i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Randomize
