he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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