At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
foreskin is a definite game changer
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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