Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Randomize
