she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
