I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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