i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Randomize
