Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Randomize
