I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Randomize
