in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
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I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
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A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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