It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
