Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
