When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Drunk is not a location!
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize