I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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