Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
