woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time