Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
