Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I think I just sharted jello shots
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
