i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
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