Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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