you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
