i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
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