He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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