Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
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