i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
you're hired as official boob wrangler
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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