I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
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They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
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What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
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