Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
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