Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
