Nicole vs. Life
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
