so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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