I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
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