was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Randomize
