you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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