It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Randomize
