I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
