i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
