Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
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