I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Randomize
