And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Randomize
