R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Randomize
