OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Randomize
