is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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