Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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