I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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