Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
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She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
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It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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