I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
