Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
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I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
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he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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