There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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